When you know
by jade30
Summary: Tohru's feelings for Kyo are changing. How does she handle it? Songfic. Kyoru...mostly. NOTE: CHAPTER 8 HAS BEEN REWRITTEN.
1. Chapter 1 Realization

_My first ever FB fanfic! The FB characters do not belong to me. The song "When You Know" is by Shawn Colvin._

**Chapter 1 Realization**

Tohru Honda pushed open the door of the building where she worked nights with weary satisfaction. The figure was standing just at the edge of the light, hidden enough that anyone else would have been startled to discover it. Tohru too, was slightly surprised at first. Her surprise quickly faded into pleasure then morphed into pure unbridled joy. To her, the figure was recognizable even from a thousand feet away. She knew that the lounging indifference of his stance was a front, that his muscles were alert with a feline tension, ready, as always to spring into some sort of action. Her bright smile lit up the night, grew wider when she saw him relax just a little.

"Kyo!" she called out with delight as she rushed toward him. "What are you doing here?"

Kyo Sohma narrowed his eyes. "You're late," he growled. "When you didn't get home at your usual time I figured you must have got lost or something."

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make you worry. I was so busy I lost track of time," she fumbled with the strap of her school bag, "but you didn't have to come get me. It's late, but I could have made it home on my own."

"Oh, I see. I should just sit at home twiddling my thumbs while you get attacked by a bunch of thugs! Geez!" When Tohru began to apologize again, he held up his hand. "Just forget it, okay? I'm already here. Let's go home." He took her bag and offered his hand to her. She took it and jumped slightly from the sudden tingles that radiated up her arm. "Something wrong?" Tohru shook her head even as the tingling spread throughout her body.

They walked along together, neither one of them acknowledging the tension that crackled between them. An inexplicable heat seemed to radiate from their joined hands, shimmering softly in the quiet of the night. Tohru was so absorbed in her attempts to analyze the feelings intertwisting her insides she tripped and would have fallen into Kyo had his arms not shot out to steady her.

"Look out! Can't you even walk right?" The annoyance in his voice was obvious.

Tohru worried her lip with her teeth. "I'm sorry, Kyo. I must not have been paying enough attention."

Even in the darkness, Kyo could see the remorse in her eyes. The guilt, always all too familiar, immediately flooded through him. "It's all right. Just be more careful, all right? We can't risk my transforming." He looked away so she couldn't attempt to analyze his expression. "I came out here to make sure you got home safely. What could I do to protect you if I turned into a cat?"

The dark haired girl squeezed his hand. "Thank you. I'll be more careful, I promise." They walked on, this time Tohru chattered amiably. The simple conversation kept her from thinking about the feelings that were surging quietly within her like a softly gathering storm.

_When you know that you know who you love, you can't deny it.  
Or go back, or give up, or pretend that you don't buy it.  
When it's clear this time you've found the one, you'll never let him go  
Cos you know and you know that you know._

Tohru and her friends Hana and Uo were watching their fellow schoolmates in the yard below. It was a bright school day. The wind whispered with the kind of breeze that made daydreaming easy. Tohru felt herself sliding into a dream, something that she felt was becoming all to easy recently

A low wolf whistle woke her from her daze. "Would you look at that?" a voice murmured.

Tohru looked up, recognized the voice as belonging to Kiyone, a girl in another class. She stood, like Tohru, with a group of her friends, peering eagerly out the window. One of Kiyone's friends, a bubbly girl named Kiima, responded enthusiastically. "The Sohma boys, all in one place for a change," she sighed wistfully. "That doesn't happen often."

"No, it doesn't," another girl, this one named Eiko, agreed. "And what a sight it is." She too sighed, her body swaying bonelessly, "that Hatsuharu is just too dreamy."

Another voice, slightly squeaky, piped up. "I think Momiji is just adorable," added Noriko, a girl Uo often referred to as heavily mousy.

The girls twittered and Tohru found her own gaze being drawn out the window as well. The Sohmas held court in the schoolyard, standing out, as always, without completely meaning to do so. Hatsuharu, still in white mode, was reclining unconcernedly against a tree. Yuki lounged on the other side, a book in his hand, studiously trying to ignore Kyo. Kyo was alternating between unsuccessful attempts to goad Yuki into a fight with snapping at Momiji who was dancing around cutely. Tohru found herself laughing softly at the all too familiar sight.

Kiima giggled at something Momiji did and sighed yet again. "Is it just me or does Prince Yuki get more and more handsome each day?"

More giggles ensued in agreement. "Nah," it was Kiyone's throaty voice that spoke up. "Yuki is cute, but give me Kyo any day." Tohru's head shot up, her eyes darted toward the girl speaking.

"Come on, Kiyone," Kiima protested. "Kyo is cute, I'll give him that, but cuter than YUKI? Give me a break."

Kiyone, a long limbed girl who herself was quite popular among the school's male population, shook her head. "Say what you will about Yuki. To me, there's just something about that Kyo." She licked her lips and, even from a distance, Tohru could see a predatory glint in her green eyes. "Something that makes me want to just eat him all up."

"Really? This is the first I've heard of this." Kiima pouted prettily. "And I thought I was supposed to be your best friend."

Kiyone's laugh was low and throaty. "Oh, I've been watching Kyo for awhile now. I've just been biding my time. I don't know how much longer I'm going to be able to wait, though," she added, with a pointed look out the window. She tapped a perfectly manicured nail against daintily painted lips. "I have a feeling I'm going to make my move soon…very soon."

Noriko squeaked. "Do you think you can really get him, Yone-chan?"

Kiima laughed. "Give me a break, Noriko. You know Kiyone. Once she gets her claws into someone, he doesn't stand a chance."

Something began to bubble up inside Tohru. Without warning, her fist clenched and her jaw tightened. The usually easygoing girl shoved away from the window and began stalking down the hallway with such determination that her friends looked at each other confusedly before getting up to follow.

Tohru didn't know what emotion propelled her into the schoolyard toward the tree where the Sohmas had made their camp; it felt as if a typhoon were raging within her. Even as she made her way toward them, her eyes sought him out, the sight of him the only thing that kept her one shade below calm. She didn't understand the feelings churning inside her, only knew that there was one place she wanted to be. The look must have been all over her face because the moment Kyo saw her he released Momiji from a chokehold and rushed over.

"Tohru?" Kyo asked voice not yet frantic but on the verge. "What's wrong? Are you sick?"

"Kyo." His name came out on a half choked sob and she blinked back tears at the relief of having him so close.

"Miss Honda? Are you okay?" There was Yuki's voice, cool despite the obvious concern. By this time Uo and Hana had caught up with her and Tohru was soon barraged with questions about her well-being. She laughed then, and punched herself jokingly on the cheek.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," she reassured them. "I don't know what came over me. I just felt…funny all of a sudden." She shrugged helplessly.

"Why don't you come over and have a seat with us?" Yuki offered. "We still have some time before classes start back up again. You can get some rest." The group turned and began walking back to their spot. "That is, if Kyo can stop shouting for a change."

Kyo bristled. "Shouting? I'll show you shouting you stupid…" he trailed off when a glance backward showed Tohru standing as still as a statue, an unfamiliar look in her eyes. He stopped. "Well, are you coming or what?"

Tohru smiled. As she walked past him he tugged on one of her braids. Her heart did a somersault as she looked up into his grinning face. Briefly her eyes searched out the window where she knew a group of girls stood. The thought came, unbidden, causing her head to reel. _Mine_.

_More author notes: As I mentioned earlier, this is my first ever FB fic. I hope you enjoyed it. More is to come…at least I hope so. =)_


	2. Chapter 2 Actions and reactions

**Chapter 2 Actions and reactions**  
  
Tohru skipped down the hallway, eager to spend the rest of the afternoon with Kyo. Since she didn't have to work that evening, she had bashfully asked the orange haired Sohma if he wanted to spend the after school hours with her. She was overjoyed when he agreed and would have left the building with him if she hadn't stopped to do a quick favor for Yuki. She practically soared in the building. But, upon gliding out the school's front doors, her flight was cut short at the sight before her.  
  
There, leaning against the gate, was Kyo—one hand stuffed casually in a pocket, the other slinging his school bag over a shoulder. In front of him, barely a curse triggering breath away, stood Kiyone. She was flashing what Tohru figured must be her most flirtatious smile at Kyo, nibbling on just enough of her lip to look tempting. To Tohru's growing horror, Kyo was not ignoring the girl with his usual gruffness. Instead, he seemed to actually be speaking to her…and enjoying the conversation. The feeling that had consumed Tohru the day before slowly began to resurface. She began to stride determinedly towards the couple. As she closed in an easily recognizable cry thundered through the air.  
  
"KYO!!!!" the quick thumping of Kagura's footsteps was immediately followed by a screech as she came to an abrupt halt.  
  
At Kyo's, "Aw, CRAP!" Tohru couldn't stop herself from holding back a tiny giggle.  
  
"Kyo!" repeated the other Sohma zealously. "I rushed out of class just to see you! Aren't you happy to see me?"  
  
"Gee, let me think…" Kyo replied sarcastically. "Am I ever happy to see you?"  
  
"Oh, Kyo!' Kagura threw her arms around the reluctant boy from behind. "Of course you are. Why wouldn't you be? I'm always happy to see…" she stopped when she noticed Kiyone. "Hello. Who are you? Are you a friend of Kyo's?"  
  
Tohru sensed trouble. She hurriedly resumed her path towards the growing group. Kiyone grinned slyly, her eyes narrowing into feral slits. "You could say I'd like to be a friend of Kyo's." Lightly, ever so lightly, she ran a finger down Kyo's chest, sending the boy into tiny tremblings (an uncertain mixture of desire and fear). "You could also say I'd love to be more."  
  
Kagura released Kyo. Tohru began walking faster. "Oh, REALLY? Just what is this MORE you'd like to be to MY Kyo?"  
  
Kiyone raised an elegant eyebrow as she regarded the smaller girl. "YOUR Kyo?" She turned to the boy in question. "Is this true?"  
  
"Hell no!" Kyo shouted. "In her dreams."  
  
Kagura's eyes widened. "Oh, Kyo! How could you say that?"  
  
Kiyone stepped in. "You heard him, little girl. He doesn't want you here."  
  
Tohru watched, transfixed as every hair on Kagura's head seemed stand on end. Kyo noticed also. "Kagura," he cautioned his cousin. With a flick of her wrist, she shoved him carelessly, flinging him almost casually onto the ground.  
  
Kagura glared up at Kiyone, her eyes black with boarlike temper. "Just who do you think you are, touching MY Kyo, telling me MY Kyo doesn't want me here? What do YOU know about MY Kyo?"  
  
"Kagura," Kyo said again, the warning in his voice even heavier than before. He took her arm. "Forget this. Let's just go to Shigure's, okay?"  
  
"Stay out of this, Kyo."  
  
"Kagura…"  
  
"I SAID, STAY OUT OF THIS!" Both Tohru and Kiyone gasped when Kagura booted Kyo into the air. The zodiac boar sighed. "I'm so sorry I had to do that, Kyo darling," she called out. "But now," the petite girl turned towards her newest rival with an unholy glint in her eye, "back to business."  
  
Tohru opened her mouth to yell something, anything to stop Kagura when a whoosh of air whizzed by her. She blinked to see Yuki sprinting towards the soon to be fighting pair.  
  
"Kagura!" he reprimanded. "What's going on out here? I could hear the yelling from inside the school."  
  
Kagura, in an about face, immediately burst into tears. "It's not my fault, Yuki. It's that girl's! She's trying to take Kyo away from me!"  
  
Yuki sighed with miserable understanding. "I see. And where is Kyo?"  
  
"I…sniff…I…sniff…"  
  
"That…that…maniac kicked Kyo into the sky!" Kiyone interjected.  
  
Yuki pressed his fingers against his temples. He looked up, flashing Kiyone what he hoped was a charming smile. "Miss Kobayashi, I must apologize for my cousin's behavior. She tends to get a little...possessive when it comes to Kyo." He turned and, spying Tohru, gestured her over. "Kagura, why don't you and Tohru go on home? I'm sure Kyo ended up there somehow. Is that okay with you, Miss Honda?"  
  
His request urged Tohru into action. "Of course," she replied softly. "Come on, Kagura. Let's find Kyo."  
  
"I'm sorry, Tohru," Kagura sniffled as they made their way down the street. "It's just…"  
  
"I know," the other girl replied comfortingly, "It's just that you love Kyo so much you can't help yourself." She immediately tried to fight down the feeling that, had she been in the same place, she would have done the exact same thing.

* * *

"But Kyo," Kagura whined, "I've apologized a hundred times! Why won't you just forgive me?"  
  
"I already told you, I forgive you!" Kyo exclaimed. "Will you leave it alone already?"  
  
"But Kyo, I don't believe you! How can I believe you when you refuse to kiss and make up?"  
  
"Kiss? You have got to be kidding me!"  
  
It was a dinnertime filled with distractions as Kagura both pleaded with and punched Kyo in the hopes that he would, in fact, kiss and make up. Kyo was, somehow, fending off his suitor's attempted kisses while managing to enthusiastically scarf down his dinner.  
  
"Thanks for dinner, Tohru," he mumbled around the food in his mouth. "It's really good."  
  
Tohru grinned her thanks and refilled his soup bowl. "I'm glad you like it, Kyo."  
  
"It IS quite delicious as always, Tohru," Shigure added, tapping his chopsticks against his mouth contemplatively. "Have I missed something?"  
  
The Sohma cook's eyebrows furrowed. "What do you mean?"  
  
"Well, since all of these foods are Kyo's favorites, I'm wondering if I forgot something. It's not your birthday is it, Kyo?"  
  
Kyo looked puzzled. "No, it's not."  
  
The elder Sohma wagged a teasing finger at Tohru. "Tohru," he sang, "is there something you aren't telling us? Did Kyo do something to deserve such a special meal? Hmm?"  
  
In an instant, the family's attention shifted to the Honda girl. Embarrassed, Tohru shot to her feet. "It's nothing, nothing at all," she protested bumblingly. "Just a coincidence. Oh, it looks like we are almost out of rice! Let me get some more." She began to back her way into the kitchen.  
  
"Kagura!" Tohru stopped at Kyo's frustrated shout. She turned to see Kyo brushing angrily at his pants. His soup bowl lay upturned on the floor. It wasn't hard to figure out what had happened.  
  
"I'm sorry, Kyo! I was just trying to feed you some soup! Here, take off your pants so that I can wash them for you," she reached insistently for Kyo.  
  
Tohru found herself caught in a sort of time limbo. She felt as if she were split into two parts. One of her parts watched Kagura close in on Kyo in painstakingly slow motion. Every second of the female Sohma's movement seemed to take an hour of heartbeats. Part of Tohru could only watch, shocked in suspended animation, as Kagura's hands made slow contact with Kyo's waist.  
  
The other part of Tohru floated out of her physical person, moving with hummingbird like speed. Slipping so quickly out of her control, this other Tohru crossed the room like lightning and brought the rice serving bowl down onto Kyo's unsuspecting head with a thunderous crash.  
  
Just as quickly as everything seemed to slow down, life resumed its normal pace. Just as slowly as everything began to speed up, Tohru blurred into coherence. There was Kyo, jumping up dizzyingly, crying out, "What the hell was that for?" There was Yuki, his hand at her elbow, worriedly asking, "Miss Honda, what's the matter?" There was Shigure, too surprised to even poke fun at the situation. Finally, there was Kagura, watching her pensively.  
  
Tohru rediscovered her voice, her words burst out of her in distressed exhalation. "Oh, Kyo! I'm SO sorry! I don't know what came over me!" The bowl turned weapon clattered onto the floor beside the soup bowl as she fled the room.  
  
_When you feel in your skin in your bones and the hollow  
Of your heart, there's no way you can wait till tomorrow.  
When there isn't any doubt about it once you come this close  
Cos you know and you know that you know.  
_  
Tohru sat on the roof in the spot normally occupied by Kyo, her face buried in her hands. Mom, what's going on with me? Why am I acting this way? It's like there's something deep inside me trying to claw its way out. I feel so out of control. What do I do? What's happening to me?  
  
"Hey," Kyo called out, his voice almost too intentionally subdued. "Can I come up?"  
  
Tohru forced a shaky smile. "Of course. The roof is your place after all."  
  
Silently, he settled himself onto the roof beside her. They sat there, soaking in the quiet of the stars, basking in the temporary necessity of words.  
  
"Kyo," Tohru began, then stopped abruptly. She bit her lip. "I'm sorry…I really don't know what happened…I…"  
  
"Will you stop apologizing already?" Kyo interrupted. "I know you're sorry. It's not like you do it on a daily basis or anything. You just caught me by surprise, is all." He rubbed gingerly at the crown of his head. When Tohru began to make apologetic noises, he waved them off. "I told you, I'm fine. You didn't hit me any harder than that damned Yuki ever has."  
  
Tohru spoke, her voice shaky with remorse, "Are you sure you're all right, Kyo?"  
  
"Yeah," he shot a reassuring smile. "Now I know how all those anime characters feel."  
  
Tohru giggled as the guilt slowly receded. They continued to sit quietly and she found that the nearness of him soothed her. Despite the lightest of evening chills, an increasingly familiar warmth began to buoy rise slowly from her toes, gliding a gentle path upwards into her heart.  
  
When Kyo spoke, she was almost disappointed as the comfortable peace that had generated between them dissolved. "Tohru…about tonight," he began then stopped, fastidiously weighing his words. "If I did anything to piss you off…well, I'm really sorry."  
  
"No, it wasn't you, Kyo," she broke off as the image of Kagura intimately stripping Kyo off his pants reemerged in her head, "it was me…totally." What could she tell him? Could she even begin to explain the tornado of feelings building within her? She fretted, and then instantaneously pushed all doubts aside. This was Kyo, after all. She could trust him with anything.  
  
"It's just that…lately, I think I've been getting tired of just sitting back and watching things happen. Tonight, when Kagura tried to take off your," she cleared her throat, "pants…something inside me snapped. I think I thought, 'This isn't fair. Why doesn't she just leave him alone?' and then…I just acted on that, I guess."  
  
Kyo considered this then nodded. "I think I see where you're coming from. But," he added with a rueful smile, "did you have to take it out on me?" His grin widened at Tohru's laugh and, once again, quiet ruled the night.  
  
"But you know," his voice was even softer than ever, "it was kinda nice to see you lose it." He met her curious glance, his eyes dark with meaning. "I mean, you're always so NICE and…controlled, I guess. It was…different to see you let loose that way."  
  
"Actually," Tohru replied thoughtfully, "it was kind of nice. It was almost…relieving to hit you with that bowl." If anything, she added to herself, it got Kagura away from you. She started at this thought and began to probe reflectively at the emotions it stirred up. Her meditation was interrupted when Kyo shifted uneasily beside her.  
  
"Well, I can't say I understand WHY you did it, but thanks. I mean Kagura's done a lot of stuff to me but that," he shuddered. "Well, it hurt, but I'm glad you did it. And…uhm…just so you know. If you ever want to…you know, talk or some junk like that, you can come to me. I'm not good at giving advice or anything, but I'll listen."  
  
Inexplicably moved, she touched a hand to his. His gratitude, his hesitancy, his being, made her heart sing with an unrecognizable song she realized she was most eager to learn. This feeling, this almost unbearable lightness, was a feeling she wanted to capture, to hold close that she could continue feeling it always.  
  
She sought out his gaze, sighing contentedly when their eyes met. Her attention became focused on his mouth and she suddenly wondered what it would be like to feel her mouth on his. A tugging deep in her stomach eased her closer to him. With subliminal delight she noticed that he had begun to lean forward as well and her blood began a slow throbbing.  
  
Her eyes fluttered dreamily to a close as she moved even closer. When she felt him shift ever so slightly beside her, she thought she would suffocate with anticipation. Low boiling need pulled her slowly forward and their lips just barely touched in a hummingbird of a kiss before a shout shattered the heated silence.   
  
"KYO!" Kagura's famous summons startled the pair out of the haze. "Are you up there? I've been looking for you for ages. You were going to walk me home, remember? Kyo? I'm coming up!"  
  
Every fiber of the cat's being screamed panic. As much as he hated to admit it, Kagura knew him all too well. She'd see that his heart was in his eyes, the desire that seemed to dribble off his lips. If Kagura saw, if Kagura suspected anything, if Kagura knew, if Kagura acted in typical Kagura fashion…he didn't even want to think about it. He sprang to his feet. "No, no…don't come up. I'm coming down." In his agitation he completely ignored the ladder and leapt off the roof.   
  
Kyo's actions (and the loud grunt that followed) woke Tohru from her stupor. "Kyo!" she called out as she rushed to the edge of the roof. "Are you all right?" She peered over to see Kyo lying prone on the ground below, Kagura kneeling concernedly beside him.   
  
"I'm fine," Kyo growled, snarling at Yuki's snide "I thought cats were always supposed to land on their feet."  
  
"I don't understand, Kyo," Kagura started, her face wrinkled with confusion. "Why didn't you just use the ladder?"   
  
"I…just forget it," he grumbled as he stood. "Come on, I'll walk you home."  
  
As they walked off, Tohru sat back on her haunches, her fingers tracing her lips. They were just barely warm. Although only the slightest impression of Kyo's lips on her remained, the feelings he had awoken in her remained. Her head buzzed with it, her skin tingled, her chest ached with it. She buried her head in hands.   
  
_Mom? What's happening to me?_


	3. Chapter 3 Movement

_Disclaimer: In case you missed it the first time, the FB characters are not mine. Kiyone and her girls ARE. =) The song, When You Know is Shawn Colvin._

_Author note: If you've read this story before, I wanted to let you know that I revised a little bit of Chapter 2. Nothing major, mostly the end, but I just thought you'd want to know. Thanks for reading! Oh yah, the end of this chapter gets pretty limey._

**Chapter 3 Movement**

Tohru laughed at something Uo said as they ambled down the street. It was, once again, a happy-to-be-alive kind of day—the joy of it chasing away all the doubts that had surfaced as she prepared for bed. She had fretted about the "incident" with Kyo on the roof as she tossed and turned, wondering how she could face him after what had happened; wondering what had come over her, wondering if she would ever have the chance to do it again. In those moments before sleep, she had made up her mind to say something to Kyo, a decision that had faded with the morning light. Standing in the kitchen the next morning he had looked so uneasy, so unsure, that she hated to say anything to make him feel worse.

We can talk later, she thought to herself as she gave Kyo her most reassuring smile and passed him the milk carton. He seemed to understand because he relaxed visibly and later handed her her book bag with a hesitantly reassuring smile of his own.

Tohru was still laughing when she bumped into Uo, who had come to a halt mid stride. "Hey, check it out, a soccer game," her eyes squinted as she attempted to make something out across the field. "Is that carrot top out there?"

"It is. I can sense his waves from here," Hana replied. The air sizzled with wicked electricity. "Shall we join the spectators?"

"Of course," Uo answered with an evil grin. "I could never pass up the chance to heckle that guy. What do you say Tohru? You still have some time before you have to go to work, don't you?"

Tohru never had the chance to answer. The two girls were already dragging her towards the bleachers of the soccer field. Upon settling themselves upon the bleachers, Tohru studied the group that had gathered. She took in the eagerly cheering soccer fans, surveyed the players shouting words of encouragement from the sidelines. She briefly acknowledged Kiyone Kobayashi's circle of friends was sitting behind them minus their flirty leader. Tohru wondered almost absentmindedly where the girl was.

She jumped only slightly when she heard Noriko Izumi's awed squeak. "Wow, I never knew Kyo was so good at soccer."

Tohru's eyes darted immediately towards the field. There was Kyo, his hands resting lightly on his knees, his body alertly coiled. His brow was creased with the same passionate intensity as when he was practicing martial arts. As the ball came back down the field, he sprinted, pausing just long enough to trap his teammate's pass between his feet. Like lightning, Kyo brought a long leg back and launched the ball at the goal. When the ball curved into the goal a roar rose from the crowd.

Tohru beamed as Kyo jogged for the sidelines, a grin splitting his face. She thrilled for him as the other players thumped him on the back and whistled their congratulations. Her gaze narrowed when she spotted Kiyone sauntering forward, her outstretched arm offering Kyo a towel. Tohru's blood sizzled at the hoot behind her.

"There goes Kiyone," commented Kiima, modulating her voice to sound like a nature show commentator, "The sleek lioness begins to stalk her unsuspecting prey. Who knows what will happen when this superior female springs for her victim."

The feeling that had been plaguing her so often recently jolted through her like a hundred fiery pinpricks. She surged to her feet and hopped violently down the bleachers. She ignored the game that had swung back to life around her; her attention was focused solely on the chatting couple too far away.

Kiyone said something and Kyo nodded in agreement. Tohru's world tilted, swayed and slowed when he began to tug off his soaking shirt.

To this day the lady Honda still blushes profusely when asked to explain why the sight affected her so. She had accidentally seen the Sohmas transform often enough that sometimes even the sight of a bare bottom barely caused her to blink. She had certainly seen Kyo shirtless before—on hot days he had the tendency to shed his shirt while training. Maybe it was the way the sweat dripped of Kyo's body, the tiny droplets reflecting the sun just so. Maybe it was seeing the sheer exhilaration on Kyo's face, a look that filled her heart with so much feeling she thought it would explode. Maybe it was the way he took the towel from Kiyone, an innocently innocuous movement that filled her with envy. She stopped dead in her tracks even as her eyes continued to admire Kyo's lithe form, her insides churned with an acid emotion she could not name, and her head seemed to throb with the thought, "That should be me."

She didn't register the warning shouts, didn't notice the look of panic in Kyo's eyes, didn't realize that the soccer ball was heading right for her until darkness descended, swimming with stars.

* * *

She felt heavy and light at the same time. She attempted to shake off the clouds in her head and winced at the pain. Hesitantly, she opened her eyes. There was Yuki, his cultured face furrowed with concern. Turning her head ever so slightly, she saw that he was flanked by Uo and Hana, twin looks of worry gracing their features. She heard a delighted shriek and knew that Momiji was close by.

Yuki smiled, his relief evident. "Miss Honda, thank goodness you're all right."

"Tohru," it was Uo this time, "how do you feel?"

Tohru's skin prickled as Hana studied her. "You electric signals, while a little unsteady, have stabilized," her mouth bent into a slight smile, "I am glad."

Tohru nodded slowly. "I'm okay." She shot up suddenly, ignoring the dizziness that followed. "Where's Kyo?" her voice was panicked and her eyes scanned the room frantically. Her instant anxiety was calmed when he responded.

"I'm right here." He stepped into view and she felt instantly soothed. "Lie back down now before you make yourself sick."

Tohru complied. "I'm sorry, when I didn't see you I got worried."

Kyo stalked forward. "YOU'RE the one we were worried about! What the hell were you thinking? Didn't you hear everybody screaming LOOK OUT?"

"It's a good thing Momiji has a cell phone. He was able to call Hatori to look you over and get you home," Yuki commented softly. "He said that you'd be fine, but that you should take it easy. And don't worry about work," he added when she made to speak, "Momiji handled that too."

"I'm so thankful to everyone. I'm so lucky to have so many people taking care of me."

"You bet your ass you're lucky," Kyo yelled. "You could have been killed out there! A ditz like you doesn't belong anywhere near a soccer field!" He raved on, the walls shaking slightly with the force of his tirade.

The injured girl sank back against the pillows. While her expression was apologetic, inside she felt a strange satisfaction. HE was worried about HER. It was a good thing everyone was paying attention to the ranting Kyo because she didn't think she'd be able to explain the reason behind her smile. Her calm was punctured when Yuki stood up.

The rat's eyes were purple slits as he faced his enemy. "That's enough, Kyo. You're upsetting Miss Honda."

"Oh no, Yuki. I'm fine, I promise," Tohru protested.

Kyo had already assumed an attack posture. "Don't tell me what to do, you damn rat. If you want me to shut up, why don't you get your scrawny ass over here an make me?"

Yuki sneered. "Maybe I will…"

Swish. The door slid open just in time. "Yuki, Kyo, you're not upsetting Tohru, are you?" Hatori queried, the tone of his voice making it apparent that he knew what had just taken place.

"It…" Kyo started but was hushed at the look on the doctor's face. "Whatever. I'm going to take a bath." He walked out of the room, hesitating at the door for a heartbeat before continuing on his way.

"Now Tohru," Hatori said as he moved past an ashamed Yuki, "Let me take one last look at you."

* * *

When Tohru opened her eyes again, her room was coated with shadows. Hatori had given her a clean bill of health and left shortly thereafter, even offering rides home to Uo and Hana. She blinked again and stretched luxuriously. Her eyes scanned the room, adjusting to the darkness. A smile touched her lips when she made out the figure lounging in the corner.

"Hi, Kyo." The figure on the floor shifted, then got to its feet.

"Uhm…hey," he answered, mumbling something she couldn't quite hear.

"I'm sorry Kyo, I can't hear you. You can come closer," even though she was not sure if he could see it, she grinned invitingly, "I won't bite."

Kyo shuffled closer to the bed. In the darkness Tohru could see that his body was slumped in a posture as close to submissive as one could ever expect from him. He inhaled deeply then exhaled in a giant whoosh.

"Listen," he began again, "I just wanted to say I'm sorry. You know, for the way I acted earlier. I shouldn't have yelled at you. I'm…I'm sorry."

Tohru reached for Kyo's hand, tugging on it until he sat reluctantly on her bed. "It's all right. Really it is. I know you were worried about me."

"I didn't mean to yell at you, I swear I didn't. It's just…when I saw that ball hit you, I couldn't move fast enough to do anything. Then you were laying on the ground and I wasn't sure if you were breathing or not." He rubbed agitatedly at his face. "I was so relieved, so happy when you woke up. But then I thought about what happened and I was so mad at myself because I didn't do anything to protect you, I just got mad and yelled.

"I just wanted you to know that I wasn't yelling at you, I was yelling at myself."

How could anyone not feel anything for this boy, this man who felt everything so strongly his feelings exploded out of him in a fireworks display of words? How could anyone not want to reach out to him, to let him know that he was, in fact understood? How could anyone not feel herself falling, dizzy with the stars his proximity put her in eyes?

"I know, Kyo, I know. I know you're sorry. I know you were worried."

"But how?" he interrupted. "How could you know when I spoke to you like that? How could you know when I said those things to you?"

_You can feel love surround you like the sky 'round blue  
__This is how love has found you, now you know what to do._

His words, his actions, his presence trigged something inside, begging her to do something, anything about the way she was feeling. Some primal instinct told her that this was an important moment and pleaded with her to take advantage of it. The human body is an amazing machine. At her internal surrender, her brain shut down and her needy heart took over. It was as if she lost control of her faculties, as if she had willingly given up the reins to a more aggressive self.

Tohru squeezed Kyo's hand. "Everyone has their own way of displaying their feelings. As you get to know a person, you learn all these little ways. I know you, Kyo. I could see the worry here," she tapped a finger lightly at the corner of his eye, "in your eyes. I could tell by the fact that you hadn't changed out of your sweaty clothes. I could even hear it, just a little in your voice. It's obvious, even now. Were you in here to make sure that I made it through the night?" her voice was just a little raspier than usual and she wondered if he could tell.

"I'm not a pervert if that's what you're think…"

She cut him off by leaning closer, placing her face closer to his. "I like the way you worry about me, Kyo."

She pressed her lips to his, imprinting everything she felt into this kiss. She felt him press back, felt his fingertips brushing against her chin. They pulled away and her blue eyes met the red brownness of his. The room seemed to swell with heat so thick she thought she could swim in it.

With a single finger, he traced the outline of her face causing little volcanoes of heat to erupt and overflow all throughout her. Instinctive agreement pulled at them and their lips met again in another, more fervent kiss. When Kyo's tongue barely touched her own closed lips, she parted her lips readily and gasped as his own heat spilled into her.

Their tongues tangled and their fingers entwined in the other's hair. Their open mouths slanted against each other and their bodies strained towards each other.

Closer, closer, the thought of it echoed through Tohru. Imagine the feeling of his body pressed up against yours. His mouth was on her neck now. It felt so good, so wondrous, but she couldn't speak, and even if she could, she didn't know if she could find the words. She dragged his mouth back up to hers for another heated kiss. Closer, closer. Soon it would be impossible to ignore the demands.

She pushed closer, realizing too late that she had pushed too hard, that she had pushed too close. Both bodies went tumbling off the bed and Tohru landed right on top of Kyo. She barely had an instant to enjoy the nearness before she was engulfed in the poof of smoke that accompanied his transformation.

She had enough sense left to know to move off of him and sit up. Chests heaving with heavy gasps, their brains were still too foggy to do anything but stare at each other, their eyes still colored darkly with desire. Neither one heard Yuki until he was actually in the room.

"Miss Honda, are you okay! Did you fall out of bed?" He shot a dirty look at the cat, briefly wondering why Kyo wasn't countering with a nasty look of his own.

The fog that had earlier consumed Tohru dissipated. "Oh Yuki, I'm fine. I just lost my balance and fell."

Yuki looked puzzled. "How did you lose your balance in bed?"

Huh. Good question. "Uhm…well, see I…"

"Look," Kyo interjected, his voice strong, "she said she's fine so leave her alone already. Go back to bed. You wouldn't want to miss out on any more beauty sleep, would you?"

Yuki shot Kyo a withering look and turned back to Tohru. "Miss Honda, if you're sure you're…"

"I'm fine, Yuki. Please go back to bed."

"Very well." The dark haired Sohma turned to leave the room, sparing one last annoyed glance at Kyo. "You better leave and let Miss Honda get some rest."

"Yeah, yeah," Kyo mimicked. When Yuki was out of earshot he turned to Tohru. Before she could say anything, Kyo shook his head, his whiskers quivering at the movement. "I know what's coming, and don't. Just…" tenderly, he placed a paw on her lap, "good night."

_Mom, I think I'm starting to understand._


	4. Chapter 4 Doubts and denial

**Chapter 4 Doubts and denial**

"Kyo," Tohru protested even as goose bumps prickled up and down her spine. "I have to finish making breakfast." She elbowed him in the stomach halfheartedly, shivering when his soft chuckle tickled her ear.

"What's stopping you?" he asked, his fingers tightening slightly at her waist.

"You are," she smiled. She turned in his arms then, tilting her head up eagerly. As Kyo lowered his mouth to hers the rest of the world receded, submerging them in their own existence.

"Tohru! Breakfast smells even more delicious than usual! How much longer before we eat?" Shigure poked his head into the kitchen to find Kyo chugging away at a carton of milk while Tohru worked busily at the stove. If he noticed anything almost panicked about her motions, he kept oddly quiet. If he heard the nervousness in her voice when she responded that yes, breakfast would be ready soon, he made no comment. The sometimes canine Sohma instead nodded and remarked that he would go on ahead to the dining room. When the joint sigh of relief from the kitchen reached his ears, nobody saw the sly smile that slipped over his face.

* * *

Tohru hummed softly to herself as she padded down the school hallway. Life, always wonderful and joyous, seemed better than ever these days.

Seven days ago, she shared her first of many heated kisses with Kyo. Seven days ago, the shift and dip of her world changed. Seven days ago, the boy she considered a precious friend somehow became even more so.

Because Tohru wished it, they hadn't yet told anyone else about their newfound relationship. Something about the thrill of secrecy thrilled her. The furtiveness of their affair made every moment they stole together all the sweeter. These days she was filled with all kinds of enraptured expectation.

There was the knowledge that, later that night, she would be on the roof with Kyo exchanging quiet whispers and soft kisses, made her eager for sunset. The possibly that, sometime during the day he would surprise in a hallway to drag her into a closet or a deserted classroom to steal a kiss, made her round corners with aroused anticipation. The feeling that, at any given moment of time, she would say something that would make him smile that heartmelting smile, made her constantly rack her brain for something adorable to say.

And so, every time she knew she should talk with Kyo about what they were doing and where they were going, that nagging thought got pushed to the back of her mind.

"Honda."

So lost was she in blissful thought, that she didn't notice Kiyone Kobayashi until she had just walked past the other girl.

"Miss Kobayashi? Can I help you with something?" Tohru ignored the tiny gurgle of almost inexplicable hatred that seemed to arise at the sight of the dark haired girl leaning against a wall, her elbows just barely dangling out the open window.

Kiyone studied her, biding her time, allowing Tohru's blatant uneasiness prickle the tension in the air. "Stay away from Kyo."

Tohru jumped, startled by her schoolmate's straightforwardness. "I'm sorry," she responded with a nervous laugh, "I think I misheard you."

"Stay away from Kyo," Kiyone repeated. The words dripped with undisguised animosity.

"That would be difficult," Tohru replied with a shaky smile, "seeing as we are not only classmates but live together as well."

Kiyone's exotic eyes narrowed. "Do you think we're all blind?" she hissed. "Do you think that we don't see what's going on between you two?"

The hateful feelings beginning to whirlpool within her were foreign to Tohru. Just who WAS this girl? What business was it of hers to say anything about her relationship with Kyo? Who was she to Kyo but a hunter seeking yet another trophy in her conquest of the male species? While her normally nonexistent temper threatened to rage at the other girl, her need to get along with all mankind prevailed.

"Excuse me, Miss Kobayashi," Tohru forced herself to incline her head very slightly, "I apologize for my directness. What goes on between Kyo and me is none of your business. Please do not attempt to instruct me further on this matter." She made a show of glancing hurriedly at her watchless wrist, "I'm late. I hope we can continue this conversation another time."

She shuffled off, and was almost halfway down the hall when Kiyone called out to her.

"What's going to happen, Honda, when the rest of the Sohmas buy a clue? What happens when they figure out what's going on between you and Kyo?"

"I don't know what you mean," came the quiet reply; but her heart began to quietly break at the implication that surfaced at Kiyone's words.

"Don't pretend you don't know. Everyone knows the way Yuki and Kyo feel about you. "They're crazy about you, think you're perfection with legs.

"Did you know," she went on, moving toward Tohru with lethal elegance, "that some people have even taken bets on which one you'll pick?"

Unable to disguise her wince, Tohru shrugged forcibly.

"Yuki's winning, you know. Or at least, he was until fairly recently. Actually," she tapping a contemplative finger against her chin, "I would wager that Yuki thought he had a pretty good chance himself. How's he going to feel when he finds out that he's not the winner everyone has made him out to be?

"He doesn't get along with Kyo very well either, does he? Tsk tsk, I'm sure he's going to take it very hard, losing to his rival and all.

Tohru's throat tightened. All her instincts told her to pay no attention to what this girl was saying; however, she found herself immobile. It was as if some sadistic part of her wanted to hear the rest of what Kiyone had to say.

"And what about that girl, the girl from the other day?" Kiyone was so close now, so close that Tohru could almost taste her expensive perfume. "She seemed to have quite a…violent attachment to Kyo. I doubt she would like the fact that he's making goo goo eyes at another girl very well.

"What's going to happen to your happy family then, Honda?" She was in front of Tohru now, her stare glowing with studious intensity. "What going to happen when you tell them that there's something more to you and Kyo?" Her snort was, somehow, refined. "They probably already know. That is, unless they're in denial too."

"Do you seriously think that they will just smile and move on?" Could you really live with their broken hearts in your hand?

"I want him.

"Stay away from Kyo." With a precise turn, Kiyone Kobayashi sauntered away, leaving Tohru standing sullenly in the hallway with tears spilling onto the floor below.

* * *

As much as it pained her to admit it, Kiyone's words enabled Tohru to see the other changes that had taken place during the seven days she drifted in a blissful haze.

Partly out of habit, mostly because she couldn't tell him no, she walked home with Kyo after school. As they neared Shigure's house, they spotted Kagura waiting impatiently at the end of the path. For Tohru, time slowed as she took in Kagura's reaction to their approach. Was the pained look because of the way she and Kyo were walking so closely their bodies brushed with each movement? Was the hurt in her eyes because of the way Kyo's hand was resting lightly on her backpack? Were those angry tears because of Kyo's annoyed, "What the hell are YOU doing here?" Or were they sad tears due to the fact that Tohru's lips were slightly swollen from Kyo kisses she hadn't been able to resist?

Where once she felt jealousy, she now felt despair as Kagura tormented Kyo the rest of the afternoon with enthusiastically violent proclamations of love.

Her anxiety worsened at dinner.

Partly because she had to get up constantly during dinner, mostly because Kagura refused to budge, Tohru sat opposite Kyo and beside Yuki at the dinner table. She felt the pale Sohma's body tense when, as she passed Kyo his food, her fingers lingered a millisecond longer than anyone else's on his. She noticed the almost unfathomable grimace when Shigure pointed out that, once again, they were eating Kyo's favorite meal. She stiffened at the venomous daggers he shot Kyo when the cat exuberantly volunteered to help her with the dishes.

Dinner was strained. The room was too heavy with the air of a topic nobody wanted to discuss. When the meal was over, everyone seemed to scramble from the room as if to escape awkwardness the dominated the night.

After graciously refusing Kyo's attempt to assist her with the dishes (helped in part by a demanding Kagura), Tohru worried over these revelations. Was it worth it? Were the last seven days of sheer lightheartededness worth the Sohma family happiness? Granted, they weren't a happy family to begin with, but was all this worth the tentative steps they were making towards family togetherness.

Disconcerted and unsettled, Tohru went to bed early. She told herself that she was exhausted, even as she lay awake all night trying to forget the fact that Kyo was waiting for her under the stars.

* * *

Tohru rubbed at her eyes. Avoiding someone, she decided, was extremely exhausting. Still muddled by her conversation with Kiyone, she determined that the best way to keep from hurting Kagura and Yuki was by staying away from Kyo. She managed to dodge him that morning by waking up way early than usual in attempt to have breakfast ready before Kyo could make it to the kitchen. This was an amazing feat in itself, especially since the cat was always awake just after dawn to train. As it was, she had literally thrown the food onto the table and tore out the door, throwing excuses and apologies over her shoulder as she left.

She had stuck close to Hana and Uo the entire school day, successfully thwarting any of Kyo's efforts to seek her out for alone time. Tohru dreaded the moment when school let out. She didn't have to work until later the afternoon, leaving several hours free that she normally would have looked forward to sharing with the orange-haired Sohma. She searched frantically for her friends, hoping that she could talk them into spending some "quality time" with her.

"Hana! Uo! Wait up!" Tohru rushed through the throng of students towards the two girls. "I have some time off before I go to work. Do you want to hang out for a little bit?"

Arisa Uotani cocked her blonde head. "Sure!" Her brow furrowed and she shot Tohru a curious glance. "But don't you want to spend your free time with carrot top?"

Tohru's smile wobbled. Had they noticed too? She should have known that, as her best friends, they would have. "Oh, no. Why would you say something like that?" in her panic, she began to ramble. "I see Kyo all the time—at Shigure's, in class, in the hallway, at lunchtime…"

"Whoa, slow down, Tohru," Uo laughed. "It's just that you've been spending so much time with him lately."

"Uhm…we have?" Was it her imagination, or did the previously noisy crowd of students become a shade quieter?

"I have also noticed that a slight change," Hana agreed in her usual, almost robotic manner. "Lately, your electrical signals have undergone a slight alteration in his presence."

"Uhm…they have?" Were there less people in the hallway now? Is that why it seemed as if everyone was watching them?

"Hmm…I don't know anything about Hana's electric waves, but there's definitely been something different about you lately. Like you're glowing, or something." Uo grinned crookedly at Tohru. "You don't have a THING going with him, do you?"

"No, no. You're imagining things," Tohru protested. Did anyone else notice how warm it had gotten in the hallway?

"Are you sure, Tohru?" Uo teased. "Is Kyo your boyfriend?"

"He's not!" Tohru insisted. When Uo continued to tease, Tohru's assertions grew in volume. They grew so loud that the remaining students stopped to watch the proceedings. Her sleepless night, her worry, her anguish tumbled and crashed inside her. What if someone heard? What if someone guessed? What if someone figured it out?

"Aw, come on, Tohru," Uo prodded. "Just admit already!"

Terror at the thought that her once peaceful existence was threatened set the blood rushing to Tohru's hears, blurring her vision. She all but shouted her final declaration, "Kyo Sohma is not my boyfriend! We're just friends, that's all! I don't like him that way, I swear!"

She regretted the words the moment they somersaulted out of her mouth. Her eyes widened with shock, all the world seemed coated with a sickly honey glaze. All the after school buzz seemed to come screeching to a halt. In the silence, you could hear every molecule of air whooshing by.

"I've been looking all over for you!" Tohru blinked to see Kiyone standing at the end of the hallway. She was waving enthusiastically.

Tohru squinted, baffled. Is she waving at me? she wondered. There's no way she could be that happy to see me. Dread began to bubble in her belly.

Kiyone went on, her voice brimming with undisguised joy and a hint of venom, "Soccer practice is just about to start…Kyo."

Tohru's heart shattered and shook. She turned deliberately to see Kyo standing mere feet away from her. The look on his face was unreadable. It was ages before he moved.

"Yeah. Let's go." Hands in his pockets, he strode off, Kiyone smirking victoriously behind him.


	5. Chapter 5 Unencouraging interludes

**Chapter 5 Unencouraging interludes**

"We're home," Tohru and Yuki called out in unison as they entered Shigure's house.

"Welcome home," Shigure sang in greeting. An always inquisitive eyebrow rose. "Kyo still at soccer practice?"

Tohru nodded in affirmation. "I'll get started on dinner right away."

"No rush. Take advantage of the rare afternoons you have off from your other job. Dinner can wait. We're used to eating late."

Yuki turned to Tohru. "He's right for once, Miss Honda. You've been looking very exhausted lately. Why don't you go upstairs and lie down?"

"After all," Shigure chimed in, "we'd hate for our little flower to waste away to nothingness."

Tohru laughed when Yuki rolled his dark eyes. As she walked up the stairs she called out over her shoulder, "Thanks, Shigure, and you too, Yuki. I'll lie down, but only for a minute. I've got too much to do to spend the rest of the day sleeping!"

When she got to her room, she changed her clothes and sat down to start on her homework. She yawned. The incident with Kyo in the school hallway had happened several days before and Tohru had difficulty sleeping ever since that fateful afternoon. She had no trouble falling asleep. That part was easy. To keep her mind of Kyo, she made a point to keep herself occupied every minute of every day so that, by the time she stumbled into bed at night, she was beyond exhaustion. She had no trouble falling asleep, but sleep itself had become almost torturous. It was because of the dreams.

Every night they were slightly altered somehow but essentially they were all the same. Each dream centered on her rejection of Kyo, her method of turning him away varying from instance to instance. He reacted differently every time. In one dream he screamed at her, in another he pleaded for her to take back her words, in another he laughed thankfully. It was hard to say which reaction was the worst. Each time she awoke, feeling more and more miserable.

If I close my eyes for just a minute, I'll be fine. I won't sleep, she reassured herself. I'll just rest my eyes.

* * *

Tohru sat up with a start. She hadn't meant to fall asleep. Although she couldn't quite remember them, her dreams were peaceful. She felt better than she had in days. A quick glance at her clock told her that she still had some time to get dinner started. Taking her time, she began to freshen up when she heard Kyo call out, "I'm home."

Recharged by sleep, Tohru was suddenly filled with new resolve. If she could only talk to Kyo, if she could only explain her actions to him, maybe he would stop avoiding her. If she could just get him to look at her, maybe he would stop spending so much time with Kiyone Kobayashi. If she could only touch him, maybe the ache in her heart would disappear. She straightened herself up as footsteps she recognized as Kyo's thumped up the stairs. When she heard his door close, she made her way to her own, determined to do something before anxiety ate through this newfound determination.

The closer she got to his room, the more nervous she became. She had practically chewed a hole through her bottom lip and her skirt was wrinkled from being twisted by her clammy fingers. Her stomach queased, convoluting itself yet again into an ever more intricate knot. The length from her room to his had never seemed so…neverending before. Upon reaching his door, she hesitated for what must have been the hundredth time. Screwing her eyes shut, she inhaled in a shaky attempt to calm herself.

Why are you so scared? she chided herself. You want to talk to him, don't you? Don't you want to explain, to apologize? Don't you want it to be the way it used to be? Don't you want HIM?

Yes. Her heart throbbed a little more confidently now. I want it. I want all those things.

She lifted her hand, only slightly less wobbly know, to knock lightly against the door.

"Kyo?" she called out in something just above a whisper. Hesitantly, she pushed the door open. "Kyo?" her voice was a little stronger, a little louder now. "I'm sorry for disturbing you. Can we talk?" She made her way into the room.

"Pl…" the request died on her lips at the sight before her. There, just paces away from her, stood Kyo with Kiyone as wrapped around him as she could get without triggering the curse.

Some small part of Tohru's brain (the teensy part of her that continued to function despite the shock shooting spheres of lightning all throughout her) marveled at how miraculous it was that Kyo hadn't yet transformed. One of her legs was curled around Kyo's waist; Tohru gaped as one of his hands massaged its way up a girl's slim thigh.

"Mmm…Kyo…" Kiyone purred as her fingers wound tighter in Kyo's hair. Her school blouse fell open to reveal a red bra so sheerly flimsy that Tohru wondered what purpose it served. Kyo captured Kiyone's mouth in a savage kiss, causing Tohru to emit the smallest whimper of protest partly because of the kiss but mostly because his hand was dangerously close to the aforementioned scantily clad breast.

Somehow, over the heavy panting, Kiyone must have heard Tohru's soft cry because she painstakingly tore her mouth from Kyo's to shoot her rival a sultrily devious glance. She lowered her mouth to Kyo's ear and Tohru could only continue to gape as the other girl's kiss-swollen lips whispered, "We have company."

Despite her heart's fervent begging, Tohru's body refused to move as Kyo lifted his head from where it was buried in Kiyone's neck to view the interloper. Upon meeting his heavy-lidded gaze, Tohru found that she was unable to suppress a shiver at the glazed desire in his eyes. He remained silent, obviously opting instead to let her speak first.

"Uhm…" she stammered, unable, as always, to speak under the weight of that particular gaze. She fumbled desperately for something to say, halfway positive that anything would be better than this stifling silence. "I…was just about to get dinner started and uhm…I wanted to know if there was anything you wanted. You know, something special I could make," she croaked, grimacing at the lameness of it all.

"Oh?" he turned towards Kiyone, who remained triumphantly pinned beneath him. "Don't bother making anything for me. I've got my favorite meal right here, don't I, Kiyone chan?"

In that moment, Tohru felt her heart cease beating. It wasn't the "Kiyone chan" that did it or even the "that kind of hungry" remark. It wasn't the huskiness of his voice or the way he barely acknowledged her presence. It wasn't even the way that his hand snaked further up her chest.

It was in the look he gifted Kiyone with, a look she knew so well, she didn't have to see it to know it was being shared. It was a look that combined lust with affection and adoration. It evoked emotions so powerful she could feel it pulsing against the walls of the room. As always, it left her breathless and wanting more. It was a look of complete trust and unspoken love. It was a look Kyo had given her on more than one cherished occasion, a look she was positive she would never see again.

A knife of pain embedded itself in her belly and she made no attempt to hide the pain from rolling onto her features. Kiyone's gaze slid from Kyo's back to Tohru, a snakelike smile on her lips. "You don't look so good." And then, in a voice not at all her own but somehow familiar, "Miss Honda, are you all right?"

Tohru's jaw dropped. Since when did Kiyone sound like Yuki?

* * *

"Miss Honda, are you all right?" Yuki repeated again.

Tohru sat up with a gasp, her eyes shooting open. She blinked rapidly, staring around the room frantically, her brain still foggy with sleep.

She took in her surroundings. "I'm in bed?" Tohru touched a finger to her cheek, only slightly surprised to discover the moisture there.

"Of course you are. I was walking by your room when I heard what sounded like crying. When you didn't answer," Yuki continued, "I was worried. I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were asleep." He paused, examining her carefully. "It must have been a terrible dream."

Yes, she wanted to cry out. Because everything she had just witnessed was just that…a dream. A very real-feeling, horrible nightmare, but a dream nonetheless. Suddenly, everything was wonderful again.

"I'm fine now, thanks. It was just a dream. A bad one but, now that I'm awake, I feel a lot better." She smiled at Yuki, taking his hand. "Thanks for worrying about me."

"Are you sure?" Yuki peered at her with troubled eyes.

Tohru's smile deepened. "Of course I'm sure. After that nap, I feel like a whole new person."

With a sigh of relief, Yuki rested his forehead against hers. "I'm so glad. I've been so worried about you. Miss Honda, I…" he paused, gazing meaningfully at her and in that millisecond, the air shifted just slightly enough to set off the faintest of alarm bells.

Tohru pulled away, carefully, afraid of offending him. "Yuki…" she fumbled as the alarm bells tolled a little louder.

"Miss Honda," he whispered, moving in ever so closer.

"Uhm…" she tried to move away, to get out of her bed. Her hand was still trapped in his, his presence on the bed no longer comforting but instead caging her in. The bells were clanging now, warning Tohru that things were about to go from bad to horrendous. Somehow, she wasn't too surprised when she heard Kyo's voice from the doorway.

"Well, well. Isn't this a cozy picture?"

* * *

"Would you look at that?" Uo murmured with undisguised amazement. "It never ceases to amaze me. Right, Tohru? Tohru?"

Tohru jumped at Uo's insistent physical and verbal prodding. "Huh? What?" she queried, blinking owlishly in an attempt to shake off her inattention.

Uo sighed impatiently. "I was just asking you what you think of the couple of the month there," she gestured at a group of people sitting not too far away from them.

"Couple? Which couple?"

"Catch up, will you, Tohru?" She gestured a little more violently. "THAT couple. Kobayashi and carrot top."

The nausea was almost instantaneous now. Unable to stop herself, Tohru found her attention being directed to the couple in question. She watched, reluctantly hypnotized, as Kiyone offered Kyo a rice ball. When Kyo reached for the rice ball, Kiyone playfully pulled it away with a shake of her head. She offered the rice ball to him again, higher this time, not too subtly suggesting that, if wanted anything, he would have to be hand fed.

Tohru just barely contained a snicker when Kyo rolled his eyes at the girl and moved to turn away. There was no way Kyo was going to do something like that with a girl he barely knew. Her happiness dance was stopped in mid whoop when she noticed Kiyone place a hand on Kyo's. She snorted at the pleading look in Kiyone's beguiling green eyes. To her dismay, Kyo huffed resignedly and took a bite out of the proffered rice ball. Tohru bit back tears as Kyo smiled down at a giggling Kiyone.

It had been like this for a little over a week now. For some reason, Uo had developed an almost unhealthy fascination with what she deemed the unlikely coupling of Kiyone Kobayashi and Kyo Sohma. Since the pair was now practically inseparable, the blonde had many chances to study them and wonder about the oddities of love.

Uo's latest obsession was a source of suffering for Tohru. It killed her to see Kiyone snuggling up (as close as he would let her) to HER Kyo. But what could she do? It wasn't as if she had told her friends of her secret once relationship with this particular Sohma. Would they even believe her if she did tell them? What kind of an uproar would it cause? Unwilling to imagine the new problems this revelation would create, Tohru decided to suffer in silence instead.

She would get over Kyo someday, right? Part of the problem was that his mere presence affected her deeply. Tohru reasoned that, maybe if she didn't see him on a daily basis she could work him out of her system. She barely saw him at home anymore anyway—when he wasn't at soccer practice, he was with Kiyone and he wasn't with Kiyone, he was nowhere near Tohru. His avoidance of her was obvious and, most of the time, Tohru thought it was a good thing.

Unfortunately, the sight of Kiyone and Kyo was something that Uo was quite interested in. The ex-gang member took every opportunity to point out the couple and bullied her friends into observing the pair as she vocally wondered about their relationship.

"I don't understand why you're so interested in them," Hana remarked. "It's not like they're the only couple in the school. As a matter of fact, they are quite tame compared to some of the other couples around here sneaking into empty classrooms to steal a minute or two of privacy."

Tohru blushed, and focused her attention on ironing out the wrinkles in her uniform. Somehow it always seemed as if Hana could read her mind. It was hard to tell if the girl actually knew her secrets or if she was just really good at guessing.

"I don't know," Uo responded thoughtfully. "Maybe it's because I never would have imagined carrot top with someone like that."

Embarrassment temporarily forgotten, Tohru spoke up, "Someone like what?"

"A big game hunter." Seeing the puzzled expressions on her friends' faces she explained,

"A hunter is someone who goes after a guy just for the sake of going after him."

"What happens after she gets him?" Tohru wondered.

"It depends. Sometimes she drops him right away. Other times, she keeps him dangling for a while…until she finds new prey. But in the end, the victim ALWAYS gets chewed up and spit back out."

"And a big game hunter?" Hana asked.

"Is someone who enjoys going after the unattainable--the extremely rich, good-looking, the guys who have tons of admirers but no girlfriend. The guy all the girls want."

"Ah, I see." Hana murmured. "And the Sohma boys fit all those categories." She too began to study the couple. Kyo was now reading a manga, totally captivated by the events unfolding on the pages before him. Kiyone was watching him with a tender look quite unlike that conniving lovesick cow one she was shooting him moments before. "However…"

The smile on Kiyone's lips as she studied Kyo was no longer predatory but soft and dreamy. Tohru wondered if Kyo knew that Kiyone had taken his hand in hers and was absently playing with his fingers. She felt her stomach begin a slow sinking. She knew what Uo was going to say next and she dreaded hearing it because hearing it would make it true.

"However," Uo continued, picking up where Hana left off despite Tohru's silent pleas for her to remain silent, "it doesn't look like this big game hunter is going to be giving up her prey anytime soon."

Tohru contemplated her friend's words. Before she could stop herself, she looked over at where the pair and this time, Kyo's eyes met hers. She endeavored to put every ounce of emotion into that brief moment, trying to tell Kyo with her eyes everything she felt.

The regret for not speaking up about them sooner, the loneliness from his evasion of her, the something that she wouldn't yet name because she was afraid that naming it would make losing it that much harder, all of those things and more she put into that look. Once, she thought she saw a flicker of something, but it was gone in a blink. Kyo broke the connection and went back to his manga.

Tohru turned away, her eyes closed against the tears stinging to be released.

Although the look seemed to last forever for Tohru, in reality it could only have lasted a second or two—barely long enough for a sneeze.

Uo, still intent on studying the couple, did not notice it.

Hana, who was bored with the pair and instead dreaming up ways to torment the Prince Yuki fan club, did not notice it.

Kiyone noticed. The dreamy look hardened out of her eyes. She turned to Kyo. Anyone else would have thought that he was deeply engrossed in his manga. None of her friends noticed that he had been on page five for an abnormally long time.

But Kiyone did.

Neither Tohru, Uo, nor Hana noticed when Kyo's hand slip out of Kiyone's and back into his own lap.

But Kiyone definitely did.


	6. Chapter 6 Unexpected interludes

_Disclaimer from previous chapters still applies, of course! _

**Chapter 6 Unexpected interludes**

"Hey, is that Kyo?"

At Uo's observation, Tohru silently reminded herself to wait and act casual before looking up and acknowledging her friend's question. Once again she marveled at how much easier it was becoming to erase what Kyo meant to her. She had cut down on the staring-at-the-back-of-Kyo's-head-time considerably as well as minimized the number of her resigned sighs per day. She no longer jumped any time someone said his name and the squeeze on her heart any time he spoke had lessened. At this rate it would be…the next century before he was totally and completely out of her mind, wiped free from her soul.

As always these days, Hana beat her to a response. "Yes, it is."

"Looks like soccer practice just let out."

"It appears so."

It took some strength, but Tohru managed to keep her gaze from lingering on the soccer-playing Sohma. As always, she began to persistently pray that her friends would skip a chance to ridicule the boy and move on. Since none of her prayers had worked thus far, she began to stiffen a smile into place and have a laugh at the ready just at the back of her throat. It wouldn't do for anyone to think she was sad about anything, would it?

Tohru stifled a groan when she realized that, as usual, Uo would not pass up a chance to browbeat Kyo. Before she could stop it, her heart hummed softly as she watched him rooting around in a duffel bag.

"Well, if it isn't good old carrot top?"

Kyo paused in mid-root, cast the trio a brief look the narrowed eyes, then resumed rooting. "Do you want something?" He found what he was looking for and turned back to them. "Or are you just looking to bug me?" His eyes met Tohru's and he looked quickly away.

"Just looking to bug you, of course," Uo replied. Her nose wrinkled. "You reek!"

Kyo snorted. "Yeah, well what do you expect? I'm running my ass off on that field, not sunning myself on the bleachers."

"So, where's your fan club?" Uo wondered.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Kyo answered. He began to methodically remove his cleats, socks, and shin guards, switching them with a pair of flip-flops.

"You know," Uo pressed, "your little cheering section."

Kyo scowled. "I still don't know what the hell you're talking about." He began to strip off his damp shirt and Tohru bit her lower lip to keep her tongue from rolling out.

"Oh, come on, Kyo-Kyo," Uo said with a wicked grin, "your bevy of bit…"

"What Uo means," Tohru interjected when she noticed the hair on Kyo's head begin to rise, "is where are Miss Kobayashi and her friends?" It was only the third time she had spoken to him that day. She continued quickly, delighting at the chance to prolong a conversation with him. "They usually watch your practice, don't they? And meet you afterward?"

Kyo shrugged. He looked the tiniest bit uneasy. "Kiyone…didn't want to be here today."

"Aww…" Uo's eyes went wide. "Won't widdle Kyo miss his widdle girlfwiend?"

Kyo lowered his gaze. "Kiyone's not my…" the rest of his words were lost as he tugged on a clean shirt.

"So," asked Hana when his head was again visible, "You have the rest of the afternoon free?"

When Kyo nodded, Uo began rubbing her hands together with dastardly glee. "Why don't you come hang out with the three of us, then? It's been a while since I've beat your ass at Rich Man, Poor Man."

Kyo's eyes narrowed. He looked at Tohru. "Don't you gotta work or something?"

Tohru started. It seemed like forever since he had spoken to her directly. She could almost forget the fact that he hadn't said her name. "Uhm…no. That is, I traded evening with someone and now have today off."

"Oh…" he stammered. What was that a look that lit up his face? "Well then I guess…"

"Unless you think your lovey girl will object," Uo interrupted.

The lit in Kyo's eyes died as temper flared. "Look, I already told you… Forget it." He snatched his bag off the bench. "I'm outta here."

Tohru was in agony. So many parts of her wanted to run after him, to ask him what was wrong, to soothe him from whatever it was the angered him. So many parts of her wanted to hunt him down, to tell him everything that was tormenting her, to beg him to help her make everything okay again. But what could come of that? How was she to know that going to him would make everything right in the world?

No. He had someone else now. She needed to let him be with that person, to let that person comfort him and nurse his wounds. It was better this way wasn't it?

For what must have been the thousandth time, she recalled Kiyone's words. If they had told the rest of the family what was going on between them, what would have happened?

Tohru had only an inkling of the control Akito had over the family, knew that the household head objected, sometimes violently, to any of the members of the Zodiac having relationships. Could she really cause that kind of distress to the people that had taken her in, given her a home when she needed shelter? Hadn't they all, well almost all, accepted her enthusiastically and wholeheartedly? Better it be an outsider who caused waves. Better it be an outsider whose memory was erased. Because what would she be without her memories?

It was these worries, these fears that should have kept her from obeying the many parts that urged her to go after Kyo. She should have listened instead to the tiny niggling pieces that told her to leave him alone.

Despite all these things, she couldn't just let him go. She couldn't stop her legs from propelling her body forward, couldn't stop her voice from calling out his name, couldn't stop her being for needing him like air. She followed him, knowing full well where he was going, since the route to his final destination was one tattooed upon her heart.

* * *

Tohru flew in the direction of Shigure's house, wishing for wings with every pounding of the pavement. She knew she should have been rehearsing what she would say to him, planning out every aspect of the conversation, leaving him no room for arguments or objections; but every ounce of her strength was focused on the need for speed. She was a torpedo, a bullet train, with only one goal in mind. Nothing was going to stop her…except maybe that arm that was shooting out of nowhere.

The mysterious arm latched onto Tohru brutally, yanking her backwards with such force her neck almost snapped from whiplash.

She sputtered, panted, whirled around to face her attacker all the while trying to remember any martial arts moves Kyo had taught her. Anger bounced into shock then faded into surprise as she took in a furious Kiima Miwa.

"This," the other girl hissed, "is all your fault." Kiima's normally scheming look was replaced with one of pure ire.

Though still out of breath and slightly confused, Tohru managed to look politely curious. "Can I help you with something, Miss Miwa?" she asked.

"Can you help me? Can you help me? Look at her!"

It was then that Tohru's attention was drawn to the sobbing form beside Kiima. She was instantly flooded with concern. "Is your friend hurt? Would you like me to go for a doctor?"

"You're so stupid! Can't you see she doesn't need a doctor?" She grunted in exasperation and yanked Tohru again so hard the girl could not restrain a yelp.

"Kiima, stop," hiccupped a tear-drenched voice.

"But…"

"Leave her alone," the voice repeated more forcefully. "You're not helping."

Tohru wrenched her arm from Kiima's grasp. She placed a comforting hand on the figure's back. "What's wrong, if you don't mind me asking? Can I help you with anything?" She gasped when the cowering figure lifted red-rimmed eyes to hers.

"I don't think there's anything you can do," wailed the once vibrant Kiyone Kobayashi before promptly bursting back into tears.

* * *

_Author's note: I hope SOMEONE out there is still reading. I really did intend to make this chapter a little longer but it's been so long since I've updated I went ahead and posted tonight, particularly since I was in a particularly juicy stopping point. Everything else is pretty mapped out in my ahead and I even have some dialogue written so hopefully it won't be too long before the next chapter.  
I really hope you enjoy. Please review and, even better, share it with a friend. )_


	7. Chapter 7 The pain & pleasure

**Chapter Seven The pain and pleasure of a broken heart**

For what felt like the millionth time, Tohru pressed her fingers to her throbbing temple in an unsuccessful attempt to silence the voice that had been unrelentingly groaning "Why me?" since she had left a still snuffling Kiyone. How was she supposed to plead Kiyone's case to Kyo when she could barely speak in coherent sentences anywhere in his vicinity?

You only have yourself to blame. You should have just refused, she scolded herself. That girl has been nothing but cruel to you. Isn't it her fault that you're miserable? If she had never stopped you in the hall that day, if she had never planted to seeds of worry, you and Kyo would still be together.

But Kiyone had looked so sad, so pathetic that the most down and out dog looked like a circus clown next to her, that there was no way Tohru could have refused the teary request without feeling like the most cruel-hearted of villains. And her plea was so sincere, her cheeks so blotchy, her nose so runny, that Tohru's easily sympathetic heart-strings were moved to song.

"_I'll be honest. When I first went after Kyo, I didn't think anything of it. I thought, I'd go out with him for a few weeks, bask in the envy of all the other girls who are dying to date a Sohma, break up with him and move on."_

Even as she recalled the other girl's words, Tohru could feel her muscles tightening in the beginnings of rage.

"_If I had known…if I could have predicted." The usually queen-like Kiyone very inelegantly blew her nose. "I just didn't think I would actually FALL for him, you know? I just…I just…I just," she hiccupped, "it just felt like it happened so fast." Kiyone stared down at the worn wood of the café table. When she spoke, Tohru had to strain to make out the words. "I think I love him."_

Tohru shuddered as she remembered her chilly response to the obviously heartsick girl's quiet declaration. She had never before felt so clammy and cold, had never before felt a void of compassion as she had at that very moment.

"_I'm sorry, Miss Kobayashi. I do not understand what you want me to do."_

Kiyone must have sensed something Tohru's response because her head shot up, her moist eyes glinting with surprise. Quelled by the iciness in Tohru's question, she gnawed on her bottom lip.

"_I told him. I told him that I've never felt the way about any boy the way I feel about him. I…I wasn't sure what he'd do, you know? I thought he'd freak out, but he didn't. He just looked so…so…sad. And then he…he…he…told me that he was sorry. That maybe it would be better if we didn't see each other any more. And now I don't know what to do. I don't want to be without him." Kiyone wiped sloppily at the tears that spilled down her cheeks. "Will you just please tell him…that I'll do anything, anything to make it work? Please?"_

And, because she understood the helplessness that Kiyone must be drowning in, because she was sinking in that same ocean herself, Tohru agreed. She had left the café quickly, unwilling to continue choking on Kiyone's misery and was now walking home in mixed daze. Part of her was sorry for Kiyone. How could she not help but feel bad for someone who was so depressed? Another part of her was hesitantly joyful. Why would Kyo turn down one of the most gorgeous, sought after girls of their high school? Was he simply worried about Akito and the curse? She remembered the look on his face when he found out they could spend the afternoon together. Did he realize how she felt about him? Was he willing to give her another chance? Tohru sighed heavily. She couldn't ever remember feeling so muddled.

She was so lost in thought that she didn't realize she was in home until she was standing in the entranceway of the house.

"Oh," she remarked out loud, more to herself than to anyone else. "I'm home." She was only halfway out of her daze when she saw the orange-haired subject of her thoughts peering out from the living room.

"Oh," Kyo replied, frowning only slightly. "I thought you were Shigure."

"I'm not." The simple sight of him jumbled up her thinking. "I mean, that is to say, of course you can tell that I'm not Shigure. I mean, he's a man and I'm," she trailed off when she realized that Kyo was studying her too intently, "…not."

"Hey," he said, stepping through the doorway. "Are you all right?"

"Me? I'm fi…"

"Because you look pretty pale."

"I do?"

"Do you need water or something?"

Still thrown off by the fact that he was talking to her, Tohru fumbled at something, anything, to continue the conversation.

"Tea!" Kyo jumped as the word exploded out of her mouth and Tohru smacked herself on the head. "I mean. I think I'd like a cup of tea."

"Oh. Sure. Have a seat. I'll be right back." He turned towards the kitchen and Tohru, suddenly coming to herself, grabbed an arm to stop him.

"That's all right Kyo," she blurted, relishing the feel of his arm beneath her fingers. "I can get it."

He smiled at her then, the familiar you're-an-idiot-let-me-do-something-nice-for-you smile she so adored. "Hey, you're the one that isn't feeling well, right? I'll get it. Take it easy for a change."

She argued with him a little bit more, partly on principle and mostly because she was thrilled by the teasing twinkle in his eyes.

As they sat, silently sipping their tea, Tohru deliberated on her plan of attack. The best approach, she decided, was a direct one. If only she could work up enough courage to get the words out.

Finally, she forced herself to break the comfortably companionable silence. "Uhm…Kyo?"

"Yeah?"

"I ran into Miss Kobayashi this afternoon."

"Yeah?" his reply was slow and cautious.

Tohru inhaled deeply, then rushed to expel the words from her body. "She was very upset, bawling really. And…well, that is, she wanted me to talk to you. She wanted me to tell you that she's sorry about anything she may have said to upset you and…uhm…" she hesitated, "she said she would do anything if you would take her back."

Silence. Long heartbeats of silence. The air in the room tightened and Tohru grasped at anything, anything to say, hoping and praying that her words would loosen the atmosphere.

"I'm sorry for intruding on your personal business, I really am. It's just…she was so sad! I wanted to help her somehow." She bowed low and, in the process, smacked her forehead against the low tea table.

When she came to, her head was in Kyo's lap and an ice pack was pressed against her forehead. He peered down at her, his face somehow emotionless even though his eyes seemed to swim with concern. "You okay?"

"Yes. I'm sor…" She started to get up but he lightly pushed her back down.

"Just rest a second, all right?" Since her head was swimming and stars were dancing just faintly in her line of vision, she readily complied.

She continued to rest there, taking guilty comfort at the feeling of Kyo's lap beneath her head, the slight press of his wrist against her forehead. Closing her eyes with the sheer bliss, she was just a little disappointed when he spoke.

"I'm sorry that Kiyone went and got you involved with all this," he said quietly. "This is between me and her."

Tohru opened her eyes to gaze up at Kyo, only to find his eyes focused everywhere else. "It's all right. I didn't mind," she protested. He looked back down at her, the unspoken message in his eyes enough to cease her arguing.

"She told you what happened, right?" When Tohru nodded, he continued, "I'm sorry I made her cry, I really am. I just didn't know what else to do.

"It's not that I didn't like her, you know." Tohru tried to disguise her wince, hoped that Kyo would mistake it for a different kind of pain. "Because, once you get past her initial bitchiness, she really is a really cool person.

"Don't get me wrong, I know what she wanted from me. And, to tell you the truth, at that point, I really didn't care." He shrugged. "I guess, in a way, we both know we were using each other. After I got to know her better, I found out that she really isn't as bad as she pretends to be. Did you know she takes care of her little brothers after school? I met them a couple of times. They're pretty cool, for brats." He smiled fondly. "She's crazy about those kids, always doings things for them like buying them ice cream, reading to them.

"It was stuff like that that made me feel like I really did like her, that maybe I could make it work, that maybe I could forget…" he broke off abruptly. She could feel his muscles grow rigid and wasn't surprised when he gently eased her head off her lap and onto one of the seat cushions. He didn't stand up, but instead shifted away from her so that his face was out of her view.

Tohru squeezed her eyes shut even as the tears trickled quietly down her cheeks. Because it was tormenting, torturous murder not to know, she asked the question that gnawed at her soul, knowing full well that his answer could destroy her.

"Why, then? Why did you do it?" Her throat felt lumpy and dry. "Was it because of the curse? Because of Akito?"

"No." His reply was barely a whisper. She raised her eyes to his because she knew he wanted her to. And when he spoke again, even her fingertips seemed to pulse with rapture and tears of a different sort poured down her cheeks. "It was because of you."

* * *

Her eyes locked with his, Tohru painstakingly sat up so that she was now kneeling near him. Afraid to shatter the magic of the moment, she tried to tell him how she felt with her eyes, tried to reinforce the joy radiating from within her so that it filled the air, chasing away all the anger and tension of earlier. 

"I couldn't forget," he continued croakily, "what we had before. The way I feel about Kiyone and the way I feel about you…it's just so different. I couldn't be with her…I just couldn't. She deserves better than that."

He looked away then and Tohru saw his hand tighten into a fist. "Look, I know you can't stand the thought of being with me but…" Tohru's nerves rang with alarm and she clumsily scrambled closer to him.

"No," she rasped, her voice scratchy with panic, "no. Kyo, you have it all wrong."

His eyes narrowed and she continued more forcefully, taking his hand in hers. Fervently she pressed her lips to his knuckles. "I want to be with you, I want to be with you more than anything."

Kyo jerked his hand from hers and stood up. His countenance was stormy. "Quit messing with me," he warned her. "It's the last thing I need right now."

She got to her feet, unafraid of the danger in him. It was so simple really, now that she he wanted her too.

She curled her fingers into the orange of his hair. "I'm not messing with you. I meant every word." She pressed her lips to his and he responded instantly. His hands went to her shoulders, tightening slightly when she instinctively moved closer. When he deepened the kiss, her balance disintegrated, and they sank to their knees on the floor.

They remained that way until he broke the kiss. He studied her then, the look in his eyes so intense, Tohru felt as if he were holding her heart in his hands. "I missed you."

So overwhelmed with emotion, she was unable to speak; Tohru smiled and pressed a hot kiss into the palm of his hand.

"It's going to be different this time, Tohru," Kyo said, his voice tinged with a seriousness that filled the pit of her stomach with a dread she didn't yet understand.

"What do you mean?" She turned all her attention to the floor. Don't say it, she silently begged him. Don't ruin it.

Kyo tilted her chin upward so that he could see her face. "This time we tell people we're together."

"People?" She giggled nervously. "What people?"

"You know what I mean," he responded, running his hand along the length of her spine in that way that made her head tingle.

Tohru could feel the happiness begin to slowly seep out of her. Kyo must have sensed it because; he too, seemed to deflate. "But…"

"But what, Tohru?"

"But," she continued, despite his warning, "what about Kiyone? And Kagura? And…" she trailed off, but she knew HE knew who she meant.

"What about them?" The tender look in his eyes was slowly disappearing and he seemed to be pulling away from her. "I thought this was about US. Not Kiyone and not Kagura, and sure as hell not that damn rat! I thought you said that you wanted this, that you want us to be together."

"I do, Kyo! I do!" She wrung her hands in desperation. "It's just…I don't want anyone to know just yet. Not until they're ready. I don't…I don't want to hurt them."

"What about me, Tohru?" his voice was deceivingly mild, but she could sense the hurt in it. "What about hurting me?"

She gnawed at her lip. She wanted desperately to give Kyo the words she knew he needed to hear. She knew how much it cost him to expose his vulnerabilities this way and yet, she was heartsick at the amount of hurt if she would be causing if she followed Kyo's wishes. It all seemed so fruitless. Where was HER happy ending?

"I don't want to hurt you either, Kyo. I just…I just don't see why we can't keep it to ourselves. I liked knowing that only you and I knew what was going on. I liked sharing that secret with you."

"That's just it, Tohru, he hissed. "Don't you understand? I want something more than hiding out in a closet. I hated having to move away from you when someone else entered the room.

"I don't want to be your dirty little secret, the one you go skulking off to when you have some itch that needs to be scratched. If you're that ashamed of being seen with a monster like me, keep snuggling up to that damn Prince Yuki and leave me the hell alone."

Tohru was torn between feeling shamefully remorseful and horrifically outraged. Was that what he thought? Was that how he was feeling this whole time? How could she have been so blind? She claimed to care so much about him; how could she have overlooked the doubts and fears that lay festering in the heart and soul of the zodiac cat.

At the same time she was furious with the sometimes feline. How dare he trivialize what they had? How dare he corrupt the beauty of it that way? Didn't he know that she wanted all those things too? That she wanted to tell all the girls that ogled him, "Hands off, Kyo Sohma is mine!"

He was moving away from her now and she knew she had to do something, anything to stop him. Brushing all apprehensions aside, she lunged forward and grabbed his arm.

"Kyo, you're wrong. It's not like that," she said fiercely. "Please, don't let it end like this. I…I…I don't want to lose you. I need you too much." She was so caught up in the despair that was flooding her tear ducts that she barely acknowledged the swish of Shigure's front door opening.

Some undefined emotion glinted in Kyo's eyes as he stood there, studying her. Long fingers reached out to caress one of her braids, tugged it lightly to pull her just enough closer. "Is that so?" he whispered silkily. He brushed at her tears. "Why don't you prove it?"

Every fiber in her being screamed out that something was wrong, that acting this way was so unlike Kyo, but she couldn't resist the temptation of his mouth on hers. As always, she was swept away when their mouths touched and was almost lost in the current of desire when Yuki's "I'm home" penetrated her Kyo-induced haze. She tore her mouth from his.

"Kyo," she panted. "It's Yuki."

"Yeah, so?" he murmured, his words barely intelligible as they tickled the shell of her ear. He kissed her again. Tohru responded, reluctantly at first, silently praying that Yuki would pass the front room and continue on up the stairs.

Her prayers went unanswered. Yuki's footsteps grew closer. "Miss Honda, are you home?"

Terrified at the thought of Yuki discovering them while Kyo's hands roamed over her body as if he were trying to memorize very centimeter, Tohru squirmed. Kyo's however, stubbornly held her fast. "Kyo, let go! He'll see us."

"I don't care," he murmured, stealing another kiss. He looked at her then, a challenge in his eyes, "Do you?"

"Kyo, please…" Even as she said it, the door to the room began to darken with Yuki's presence. At that moment, Tohru did what she knew she had to do. Her head demanded that she act swiftly, her heart begged her to think it over. She did what she thought was right, it was the only way.

She threw her arms around Kyo, triggering the transformation. In the poof of smoke that followed hurriedly straightened her clothing and, in her haste, almost missed Kyo's defeated "I thought so." She opened her mouth to reassure him, then snapped it back shut. What good would it do to start another scene? She would find him later and explain, ask him for another chance, beg if she had to.

When the door slid open, heralding Yuki's entrance into the room, Kyo was already heading for the door, stalking out of the room as only a livid cat can.

"Miss Honda, are you all right? You look flushed. Why is there an ice pack on the floor?"

"Oh, it's nothing. I was just being my usual klutzy self and I fell into Kyo, right Kyo?" she babbled, slightly amazed that she was able to construct a semi-logical sentence.

Kyo paused just outside the door. He didn't even bother to turn around. He instead managed a forcefully non committal, "Whatever," and strode out the door.

Sheer will alone kept Tohru from sinking to the floor in defeat. She forced herself to cheerily answer all of Yuki's questions, to soothe all his concerns as she tidied up the room. When Yuki excused himself to change out of his school clothes, she picked Kyo's clothes from where they lay abandoned on the floor, and buried her face in the achingly cherished scent, so drained she couldn't even work up the strength to cry.

_Author's notes: Hello and thanks for sticking with me! I'm sorry for taking so long between updates. There's really no excuse. ) I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Part of me originally intended for it to be finished after this chapter, but I couldn't help torturing our star-crossed couple a little bit more. An end is in sight, the next chapter should hopefully be the last one. Really. ) Yes, I do have an idea of how it's all going to end and how I'm going to get there. Big, wonderful, heartfelt thanks for all the reviews, too. I really truly appreciate them! Read, review, tell your friends!_


	8. Chapter 8 The pain of an epiphany

_Author note: Wow! It's been a while. For those of you (and I thank you) that have been following the story, THIS IS A COMPLETE REWRITE OF THE ORIGINAL CHAPTER EIGHT. Please re-read. I think it works better. As always, the FB characters are not mine!_

**Chapter Eight The pain of an epiphany  
**

"Oh no, I forgot my math book" Tohru groaned, fighting the all too familiar urge to bash her head against the sidewalk.

"So what?" Uo shrugged.

"I really need to study for that test on Monday. I have no idea what I'm doing."

"Just borrow the Prince's, or Carrot Top's even."

Tohru shook her head. "I can't. Yuki has a lot of student council work to do so he won't be home until much later. And Kyo has soccer practice…I think." Or at least she thought he did. After their last disastrous clash, Kyo had begun treating her with a chilly nonchalance. While not quite ignoring her completely, he managed to somehow subtly route all communication with her through outside parties. To her surprise, Tohru was beginning to prefer this roundabout way of speaking. It was bad enough that the mere sound of Kyo's voice sent made her chest tighten and her hands sweaty, what would happen if he ever decided to start talking to her again? Would she even survive the interaction? It was better, and less painful, to keep her distance.

"I'll just run back in and get it," she said, waving her friends off. "Please don't wait for me. I wanted to get home and get the wash started, anyway." As soon as they were out of sight, Tohru's shoulders slumped gratefully. She only removed her falsely jovial mask when she was sure she was alone. Unfortunately, it was becoming increasingly difficult to force a smile onto her face.

She tuned out the cheerful chattering of club meetings and began plodding toward her classroom in the zombie like state that was becoming all too familiar. Had she been playing closer attention, she probably could have avoided the figure purposefully blocking the hallway. But, so absorbed was she in her private pity party, that she didn't notice Kiyone until she smacked right into her.

"Oh," the apology, instantly on her lips, died immediately at the sight of the other girl. She almost attempted to smile, then gave up, deciding that it just wasn't worth the effort.

Kiyone Kobayashi, vixen of class three, raised delicately arched eyebrows. When she spoke, her tone was all business. "Honda, I want to talk to you."

"I'm sorry, Kobayashi," Tohru replied tiredly. "I REALLY do not want to talk to you." She straightened her shoulders and began to walk past the other girl. To her astonishment, Kiyone grabbed her arm and dragged her into the closest classroom.

"I'm afraid you don't have a choice, Honda," Kiyone said, shutting the classroom door with a decisive click. "I wanted to talk to you alone and, since you're either with one of the Sohmas, that gangster chick, or the electric girl, I think this is as good a time as any.

"Here's how it's going to work, I'm going to talk and, when I ask you a question, you're going to answer, got it?"

Dumbfounded and still slightly shell shocked, Tohru nodded. Could this really be the girl who, only days ago, was crying uncontrollably, begging for her help?

"So, what I want to know is this—how is it that, I practically hand Kyo Sohma over to you on a silver platter and you're not with him?"

"S-s-s-ilver platter?" Tohru stuttered.

"Listen," Kiyone said softly. "When I asked you to talk to Kyo for me, a part of me knew that I'd lost him. I had a feeling that, if I sent you to talk to him, the two of you would get back together."

"Why? Why would you try to do that? I thought YOU liked Kyo."

Kiyone ducked her head. "I do," she whispered. "I like him a lot. But, even when we were together…well, he talked about you a lot, you know."

"He did?" Tohru croaked. Hope, a barely there spark of it, kindled inside of her.

"Yeah. He was forever wondering if you were okay." She chuckled. "If you were at work, he'd time it so that he wouldn't be too far behind you when you walked home--so that if you knocked yourself out, someone could be there to drag your 'sorry ass' home."

So he was just afraid her death would be on his watch. Wonderful. The small spark of hope flickered, threatened to go out.

"But it wasn't just that," Kiyone went on, "He really admires you. When he'd talk about you, he'd smile, you know that smile he gets when it seems like he knows something the rest of the world doesn't? And his eyes would get this look, like he was someplace happier, someplace he really wanted to be.

"And I hated it, because I wasn't the one putting that look on his face," her voice shook and Tohru could feel her eyes begin to fill. "So I thought, fine. If getting them back together is what will make him happy, then fine. So, I let him go. I thought that with me out of the way you'd be all over him again.

"But," she frowned, "it looks like I was wrong. I don't like being wrong so, Honda, you better tell me where you screwed up."

"I…I…didn't know…it's too late…too late," tears, huge fat drops, spilled down her cheeks onto her clenched fists.

"That bad, huh?" Kiyone handed her a handkerchief. "Want to talk about it?"

Baffled, Tohru stared at her. "You would listen?"

Kiyone shrugged. "Sure, you listened to me once before, didn't you?"

"Yes, but…"

"Look. I can only say it so many times. Kyo means a lot to me." She smiled and Tohru was struck by how pretty the girl's smile, that is her real smile, not the devious one that sent boys palpitations, was. "Besides, it's partly my fault that the two of you are so pathetically depressed so it's the least I can do."

* * *

And so Tohru, unable to keep everything bottled up inside her any longer, told Kiyone as much as she could. Subconsciously she marveled at her ability to keep the Sohmas' secret, even in her overwrought state. 

"So," Kiyone frowned when Tohru paused in her blubbering, "I'm still not sure why you did what you did."

Tohru sniffed. "I just don't want anyone to get hurt."

"You really think that your being with Kyo is going to hurt them that much?" When Tohru nodded, she snorted. "You really do have an inflated sense of self, don't you?"

Tohru's head jerked up. "Excuse me?"

"Do you mean so much to everyone that they're going to be devastated if they find out how you feel about Kyo? Get over yourself already. I'm sure that all your precious Sohmas will accept it eventually. Hell, they might even be happy for you. After you tell them, the world will still turn and the sun will still shine.

"Or is that what you're afraid of?" Bottle green eyes narrowed into slits. "Are you afraid that Prince Yuki will stop worshipping the ground you walk on when he finds out there's someone else? Are you afraid that the rest of the group will back off and leave you alone? Admit it. You love the way they fawn all over you, you get off on the fact that you're the envy of just about every girl in the school.

"You don't care about that fact that Kyo is crazy about you," she snarled. "All that matters to you is that YOU'RE the center of the Sohma world. You don't deserve Kyo, you don't…"

SMACK.

The sound of Tohru's hand connecting with Kiyone's cheek seemed to stop all time. Tohru's hand, now a clenched fist, dropped to her side. She was shaking. Tears dripped down her cheeks and her eyes burned with a ferocious light.

"You know nothing," she rasped. "Nothing about the Sohmas, nothing about Kyo, and absolutely nothing about me. They mean EVERYTHING to me. EVERYTHING. You don't know how much my life has changed since I've met them. It's like the best of dreams.

"I shouldn't have even been allowed to come so far into their world. And every day, every day I'm so afraid that it will all be taken away from me. It was fine when I thought I felt the same way about all of them. But now, the way I feel about Kyo changes everything. If they find out, they'll keep me away for sure. If they find out…" she stalked the room like an agitated tigress. Pressing her hands tight against her mouth, she let out a muffled scream. Her knees gave out from under her and she sank to the floor.

"They can't find out. If HE ever found out how I feel about Kyo…" she trailed off, unable to finish. Now…now she knew why she had pushed Kyo away. It wasn't just the fear of having her memories erased. She sobbed harder at the painful revelation. If they found out, they might lock Kyo up even earlier then planned.

It was one thing for Kyo to have feelings for her but, to know that she felt the same way would mean that he'd have something to be happy about for once. Akito, she had no doubt, would delight in taking any happiness he could away from Kyo. Add that to the fact that it was she, Tohru Honda, was already on Akito's hit list; well, there really was no chance for a positive outcome.

She see could it all now. First, her memories would be erased. Then Akito would have Kyo put away. Not only would she be unable to break the curse, but the person she held most dear would be locked up for the rest of his life earlier than planned.

Tohru wiped her nose against her tear-soaked sleeve and rested her forehead against her knees. While the uncontrollable crying was cathartic, to say the least, she was now filled with a different kind of hopelessness. If she truly wanted to help the Sohmas, she had to put off any thoughts of a future with Kyo.

A slender hand ran down her back. "I'm sorry." Kiyone's voice was barely a whisper.

"I…" she sighed. "I don't know what I was thinking."

_It's all right_. Tohru wanted to tell her but somehow the words just wouldn't come.

"I'm going to get you something to drink, all right? Just please stay here, okay? I'll be right back."

Tohru nodded. At least she thought she did. She didn't think she could go anywhere if she tried. So she sat, mind empty, body spent, and heart aching. In a minute, she kept telling herself, in a minute I'll get up and go home. She couldn't face Kiyone, anyway. Not after raging at her and especially not after slapping her.

I'll get over this. I'll forget about Kyo and concentrate on breaking the curse. Once the curse is broken, then I can concentrate on making up with Kyo. Once the curse is broken, I won't have to worry about anything but loving Kyo.

But would he wait? How could she ask him to wait when he was barely even speaking to her? How could she beg him not to be with anyone else when he refused to look at her? How could she reassure him that he was the one, the only one when he acted as if she didn't exist?

Tohru hiccupped and raised her head, straightening her shoulders. Wallowing in self-pity was not going to help any. In a minute, she told herself, I'll get up, wash my face, and head back to Shigure's to make dinner. She squeezed her eyes back closed and pulled her knees closer into her body. In a minute, I'll put all this behind me and move on. I can be stronger now, I know I can. I just need one minute. Just one minute more.

Tohru sat in the empty classroom, rocking slightly back and forth, not bothering to keep track of the minutes that were painstakingly ticking by.

When she heard the footsteps thumping in the hallway, she tried to stand but her legs refused to cooperate and her knees buckled. The footsteps came closer and, because she knew there was no way she could possibly stand, she swiped desperately at her tearstained face and tried to look a little less miserable. No, that was impossible. Perhaps it would be better to just turn away, to just not look until she was good and ready.

Tohru buried her face in her hands and took a deep breath.

The classroom door slid open.

A voice called out, an unmistakable voice, and her body slumped at the thought of another confrontation. Kiyone really did hate her, didn't she?

"Tohru! What's going on? Kiyone came and got me. What happened? What did she do to you?"

Tohru heart twisted at his panicked words. Was there a chance that he still cared? But even if there was, what could she do about it?

_I'm fine, Kyo_, she wanted to tell him. _Please, just go on ahead. I'll be fine_. Her mouth made the motions, she was sure. Why weren't the words coming out?

He crouched down beside her and, although her mind told her she should probably move away, her body refused to follow the suggestion. He placed his hand on her knee and his forehead on her shoulder and she began to weep anew.

"Talk to me."

_Author's note: Well, I think that works a little better, don't you? Sorry it took forever for this change but, as you know, life happens. Anyway, THANKS FOR READING! The end should be near, really it should be. Maybe I'm on a roll and can get this story finished before this summer. But, no promises. ) Please, review. It probably needs a little more work, but I'm just glad it's out there. I hope you enjoyed it!_


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